Tragedy, technology, & tying knots

The dull edge became a little sharper last Thursday as I received my Blackberry Curve. It immediately becomes the most cutting edge piece of technology I own, followed by my iPod, and then next would be my… um… Remington PG-250 electric shaver, I guess.

Those in the know tell me that I should refer to it as a Crackberry. I can’t wait to find out what that’s all about. And the girls at the cell phone place had a nice laugh over my old phone, the discontinued Samsung P107 with the 0.1 megapixel camera, which left all my camera phone pictures looking like abstract impressionist paintings.

My excitement was short-lived, however, as tragedy struck my world Friday afternoon. Shortly before 3 PM, someone I have known for roughly twenty-five years suffered a massive heart attack.

That someone is Luke Spencer.

He was found on the floor of Windermere by Scott Baldwin’s long lost son, Logan Hayes. As of today, Luke is still alive, but it is unlikely they’ll be able to get him to a hospital because of the storm, so please keep him in your thoughts. More importantly, please keep me in your thoughts, because if Luke goes, I… well, I’d rather not think about it.

Remarkably, I was able to press on despite that weighing heavily on my heart. As a few of you may know, I was in a wedding Saturday. My longtime friend Kyle said goodbye to the ranks of singledom and hello to a brave new world. (I was going to say “My BFF Kyle” but guys don’t really have BFF’s. We just have buddies, or homeboys, or longtime confidants. Wonder why that is?)

During rehearsal, the wedding director repeatedly called me and the girl I escorted “professionals.” I’m not sure I want to be known as a professional groomsman. Then again, why the heck not? Maybe I could make some extra cash on weekends, legally for a change.

It was great to see several friends that I had not seen in quite awhile. And hopefully, no footage of me “dancing” will turn up on YouTube. No, trust me, you think you want it, but you don’t.

As the weekend was quite busy, I haven’t had a lot of time to play with my Crackberry yet. Though I did finally figure out last night how to change the ring tone. That only took four days.

Technology rulz!

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get thru this thing called life. Electric word life. It means forever and that’s a mighty long time. But I’m here to tell you, there’s something else…”

Nuvaring is not for everyone

To whom it may concern:

My name is Bone. I am a single, straight male who looks forward to coming home after a long day at work and settling in to watch my favorite soap, General Hospital. There are two Soap Digests on my bedroom floor at this very moment. I enjoy keeping up with the adventures and misadventures going on in Port Charles.

However, what I do not enjoy is being mercilessly inundated each and every commercial break with ads for birth control, tampons, feminine hygiene products, and Playskool toys. And if it’s not that, it’s an ad for problems of old age featuring Wilfred Brimley. Yes, I liked him in Our House, but that’s beside the point.

The other day while watching, one particular break began with the line, “How do you say so long to a period that’s too long?” I. Don’t. Know. And I’d rather not think about it. Then I had to watch a 60-second dialogue about Valtrex, and how one partner had herpes and the other partner didn’t want to catch it. (How about not sleeping with her, genius?) That break ended with a What About Brian promo, because we know how many men watch that.

Based on your ads, one would think your viewers were all either women who have lots of (sometimes unprotected) sex and weird cycles, young mothers, or old retired men who may or may not have problems urinating.

And that may be. But I find it hard to believe that Stephen A. Smith and I are the only two young, virile males out there who care what happens to Sonny, Carly, Jason, Elizabeth, Nikolas, Emily, Lulu, Lucky, and Luke. Besides, if, God forbid, I ever do have “weak stream”, I won’t need some commercial to inspire me to action. I’ll run screaming to the doctor’s office. Believe me!

How about tossing in a Sears commercial once in awhile? Maybe a Men’s Wearhouse ad. Or at least a movie preview. And while we’re on the subject, whatever happened to the Doublemint twins? They were cute.

All I’m saying is you could be missing out on a whole segment of your audience. After all, as one of your frequent ads says, “Nuvaring is not for everyone.”

Indeed.

PS: Any chance Sam might be leaving the show anytime soon? Also, if you could get Jason and Liz together soon, and give Luke a bigger part, and bring Jonathan Jackson back as Lucky, that’d be great. Thanks.

“She says she’s leaving on a Sunday. I don’t care. I need to know where to turn. I tried it once. It never caught on. I was the only one who got burned…”