An ode to Mike D

So am I the only one excited about this Scott Baio Is 45 & Single show?

*crickets chirp*

OK, well so maybe I am. But I think his life and mine share several parallels. We’re both single. Neither of us have landed a prominent acting role in the past fifteen years. And while we’re at it, whatever happened to Buddy Limbeck?

The first time I remember hearing the Beastie Boys, I was in eighth grade. And while “You Gotta Fight For Your Right” was about as rebellious as I was to get, it was their other songs that got me hooked on the Beastie’s catchy rhymes and def beats.

Lyrics like “we went to White Castle and we got thrown out” or “he recognized my girlie from the back of her head” seemed to speak directly to my 13-year-old soul.

I recall sitting in my eighth grade English class rapping back and forth to “Paul Revere” with Axl, as Tabitha Aldridge, a cute cheerleader in our class, listened intently. She was smiling and obviously amazed by the sheer magniture of our Beastie-ness. When I got to the wiffle ball bat line, I knew by the look on her face that girls loved rappers.

Thus began my phase of composing three-part color-coded rap lyrics for Axl, Hollywood, and myself. I used the classic four-color blue-barrelled Bic pen to compose my def jams. Most were written during Home Economics, in between knitting Jam shorts and baking peanut butter cookies. I was hardcore.

The words juice, jammy, and girlie dominated my vocabulary in 1987 and 1988. But as time passed, the Beasties changed, and so did I. Cargo shorts and flip-flops have replaced my Jams and British Knights. And I now prefer the single-colored Bic Cristal Classic ball point pen, or the charcoal-barrelled black felt tip pen with the yellow-ended cap.

The Beasties became involved with various causes and charities. They organized and performed at the New Yorkers Against Violence Concert in October 2001. Their music has continued to evolve as well, yet the one constant remains their fresh, clever rhymes. After all these years, the Beastie Boys have managed to remain chill.

So here’s to Mike D, MCA, King Ad-Rock, and doing whatever it takes to impress the girlies. Some things never go out of style.

Suddenly, I’ve got a hankering for some White Castle.

“Well, now, don’t you tell me to smile. You stick around I’ll make it worth your while. Got numbers beyond what you can dial. Maybe it’s because I’m so versatile…”