3 Word Wednesday LIII

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday. Each week, I will post three (or more) words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. I’ll also attempt to write something using the same words.

Leave a comment if you participate. Many fun and interesting people might visit your blog.

This week’s words are:
Ambiguous
Nine
Slept

I’ve always felt awkward and out of place shopping alone, like there was a big flashing sign over my head that said, “Clueless!” Like I stuck out worse than a clothed person in a nudist colony.

I was always afraid I was going to be looking at something completely out of style, or worse, that I would be looking at clothes or shoes for women, without realizing it of course.

Some stores do not have different departments labeled clearly, some not at all. This particular establishment was one such place. There were several racks and tables of clothes not clearly labeled men’s or women’s. I figured maybe they were good for either sex, sort of like that CK1 scent back in the day.

I had just picked up a pair of pants when a salesgirl approached and asked if she could help.

“Well I’m… kind of looking for some workout pants.” Figured I’d run it up the flagpole and see if it would fly.

“For yourself or…” she paused, awaiting my response.

At this point, I was no longer sure. If I said for myself and these were women’s pants, I would look… well, odd. But if I said for my girlfriend and they were men’s pants, I would just look stupid.

“Um, no, for someone else.” I was quite pleased with my quick and carefully crafted ambiguous reply.

“Well, what size is she?” Aha! I had my answer. These were women’s clothes. But now what? I knew my girlfriend was a nine, but I really did like these pants.

“Umm, actually, she’s about my size.” Suddenly, it felt like I was committing a crime.

“Oh,” she seemed momentarily surprised, but quickly recovered. “Well, she’s probably going to need an extra large then.”

I wound up buying two pairs of women’s workout pants that day. My paranoia eventually prevented me from ever wearing them out anywhere, but they were comfortable so I slept in them.

“I waited for an hour last Friday night, she never came around. She took almost everything from me. I’m going through my closets, trying on her clothes, almost everyday…”