Head Scatchers’ Forum

Inspired by recent posts from Traveling Chica and Renee, I am proud to present Bone’s First Annual Head Scratchers’ Forum. A place you can come to discuss those inexpicable, unusable gifts you may have received this year. It sort of combines the Airing of Grievances part of Festivus with the crappy gifts aspect of Christmas.

Almost all of us receive at least a gift or two each year which leaves us scratching our heads. Gifts that make us say things like, “You really shouldn’t have. No, really.”

Gifts from friends that cause us to reconsider our life choices. Gifts from parents that leave us wondering if our real parents were abducted by aliens without our knowledge and replaced by alien clones. Because the people who raised us for eighteen years would surely have some clue as to our likes, dislikes, and interests. Or at the very least, our age.

Here now, for your enjoyment, are a couple of my head scratchers for 2006:

“Cool! It’s a keychain that’s also a flashlight! What will they think of next?” Because sticking a real flashlight in the glove box is just too difficult. And also because I LOVE carrying large, hard cylindrical shaped things in my pockets.

“Wow! It’s a Scooby Doo… candy dispenser… which turns into a piggy bank when you’re done with the candy!” Ruh Roh Shaggy, I think I lost it already.

“Oh my, a magnetic dartboard.” Because I’m 33, and evidently not old enough to be trusted with real darts. Or even the pointy plastic ones with the tiny holes all over the board.

“Ooo, regular fit, straight leg jeans!” Just like they wore in the early nineties! Uh, you know what. Actually, do you have a receipt for these? I have a sneaking suspicion already that these aren’t going to fit.

“Aww, it’s a… Christmasy… wooden… decorative… thingy. How did you know I collect these?!” I’m gonna put this up right now before I break it… on purpose. I’ll put it right beside all the others. In the back of my closet.

So what gifts did you get this year that left you scratching your head? Share them here. Without fear of repercussions or persecution. We’re more likely to sympathize with you.

And keep in mind my motto before you buy someone a $10 or $20 crap gift that they’re only going to throw away, bury in a closet somewhere, or regift:

Cash. It’s underrated as a gift. This public service announcement brought to you by Bone. A proud user of cash since 1977.

“Return to sender. Address unknown…”