“You must remember this…”

She was lying on her back. On her bed. By the open window, which let in the cool night wind. It was March. Or April. I had been coming over like this for a few nights. After work. After midnight. I was never sure if her parents were OK with this. Or if they even knew. I would find out later the answer to both was no.

I wasn’t sure what this was. But I knew I liked it. I knew I didn’t want these nights to stop. We would just talk. For hours. About everything or nothing at all. Then I would leave.

On this night, there was a pause in the conversation. I couldn’t tell you now if it was five seconds or five minutes. Probably somewhere in between. The radio played softly in the background, as it always did on these nights. The room was dark, as it usually was. But I could see the silhouette of her face. Against the background of the moonlit night. Which I had never noticed being so bright.

I looked at her. She appeared to be looking straight up toward the ceiling. I supposed she was thinking. I wondered what about. Her lips were slightly parted. I just sat there. Staring at her.

Then without even thinking, I leaned over her body and pressed my lips to hers. It just seemed right. I kissed her. For the very first time. She didn’t kiss back. Told me later it was because she was so surprised.

It was the most truly spontaneous first kiss I’ve ever experienced. Never wondered if I should. Never wondered if she wanted me to. I actually don’t remember thinking about it much at all. Which is odd for me. I usually overthink everything.

I don’t remember if we kissed again that night or not. It’s irrelevant anyway. But from that moment on, our relationship was never the same. A little over two years after that kiss, we were engaged. Two more years, and we weren’t anymore. Four times around the sun is a lot for anyone.

Sometimes a certain wind. A certain time of the year… I’ll be driving with the windows down. And that same cool night air will hit me. And remind me. And I can almost see her silhouette. Just beyond the headlights. Just beyond my grasp.

It wasn’t my first kiss. Nor my last. But out of ten thousand kisses, there are a precious few that you never forget.

“I worked so hard for that first kiss. And a heart don’t forget something like that…”