That flash before your eyes thing

Reports of my demise are greatly slightly exaggerated…

This is the blog entry that almost wasn’t. From the blogger who still is. After the accident that almost did. But somehow didn’t. Got that?

My Friday night was just starting. I was on my way to shoot pool around 7 PM. I had just turned north onto Danville Road from Moadus when it happened. Or almost happened. Now, although an ASCII diagram would probably be better to illustrate my story, I’ll just try and use words to describe it. Actually, what would be really cool would be if I had one of those NASCAR in-car cameras and could just stream the video online for you. Not that I know how to stream video. But anyway…

Danville Road is five lanes at this point. For the purpose of this story, I have numbered the lanes 1 thru 5, from west to east. The two southbound lanes are lanes 1 and 2. Lane 3 is the turn lane. And the two northbound lanes are 4 and 5. I am in the far right lane, from my vantage point, lane 5. I had just passed two slower cars to my left, in lane 4. And I would guess that I was going 45-50 mph at this time. It’s hard to say, since I don’t often do a speedometer check. As evidenced by my four traffic tickets (although only two were for speeding) and a few warnings. But, I digress.

The next series of events takes place in the span of probably ten to fifteen seconds. Just as I get past these two cars, a large white truck no doubt carrying some idiot rednecks pulls out right in front of me from one of the side roads to my right. It is apparently turning left to go south. But I guess the driver sees me and then just stops, but is completely blocking my lane. I don’t have time to stop.

I think about my fish. Who will feed Pablo when I’m gone? Who will dance for him?

My instinct and only option is to swerve into the other lane to try and avoid the truck. Somehow I manage to do that. But I quickly realize that the sharpness of the turn coupled with my speed has my car on the verge of being out of control. I try to correct, but it’s too late. The back end of my car is coming around to the right. And I start to skid down lanes 3 and 4.

I think about Frolf. And how even if I live, I might be mangled and never be able to play.

It is at this point that I think of the one and only thing I remember from Drivers Ed: Steer into the direction of the skid. So I do. But I overcorrect. Now the rear of my car comes around to the left side, and I am sliding drivers-door-first down a fairly busy street at 7:00 on a Friday night.

I think about 24. And how I’ll never know if Jack gets Walt. And will Chloe ever trust men again? And what about the first lady. What’s going to happen to her?

Now, not only am I skidding drivers-side-first down lanes 4 and 5, but my car also seems to be slowly veering towards the curb. Which also means road signs, mailboxes, and utility poles.

I think about my blog. Who will let my blog friends know I’m gone? Then, I think that over time, everyone will leave many comments asking if I’m OK. And then when someone finally posts a comment letting everyone know what happened… it would be my most-commented post ever!

I have already begun steering the other way, into the direction of this skid. Suddenly, my car turns all the way around, doing a complete 180, and coming to rest. At last. Except that as it spun around, it crossed the entire highway and has come to rest in the middle of lanes 1 and 2. So at this point, my car is stopped, pointed towards the west side of the road. Right in front of oncoming traffic! I look up to see cars in both lanes bearing down on me!

I think about the things that have flashed thru my mind. My fish. Frolf. 24. My blog. If these are the first things I think of, what does that say about my life? Maybe I should just sit here. Close my eyes. And see what happens.

Anyway, back to the story. Again, all this happened in the span of maybe fifteen seconds. So I look up and see two sets of headlights coming towards me as I’m sitting still. Fortunately, my car is still running. So I do the only thing I can think of. I cut the wheels all the way to the left and I lloor it. Amazingly, no one hits me. And I don’t hit anything. I turn into the first place I see, which just happens to be a church parking lot. I stop the car. My hands are shaking. I just sit there for a moment to recover.

OK, I didn’t really think about all those things. Actually, I think pretty much my only thought was: Don’t die, don’t die, don’t die. Because living is good. And dying… not as good.

I never saw the white truck again. In retrospect, I was just thinking, there had to be several witnesses to the “wreck that wasn’t.” Wonder how one would go about getting in touch with such people. Because I would give anything to meet the driver of that truck.

You know, just to let him know that I’m OK ;-)

“My friends all grew up, and they settled down. In nice little houses on the outskirts of town. They work in their office. Tnd drive SUV’s. They pray for their babies, and they worry ’bout me…”