You have to feel my pants

Thought of three more quirky things to add to my list from a few weeks ago.

I have a small television in my bedroom. When you adjust the volume, a bar appears on the screen and expands as you turn up the volume. Along with the bar, a number appears, indicating the volume level. Depending on what channel it’s on and whether I’m actually watching or just needing some noise to fall asleep to, I normally keep the volume between 20 and 30. But never on 26. Never. I always change it to 25 or 27. Why? Because 26 is a multiple of 13. I also would never leave the volume on 13 or 39. I don’t have a problem watching channel 13, or 26, or 39, or 52, etc. But the volume can’t come to rest on any of those numbers. Or something bad could will happen.

Over the weekend, a couple of people informed me that one of the brake lights was out on my car. This may not seem like a big thing. And apparently isn’t to some people whom I’ve almost hit because they have no working brake lights whatsoever. Or turn signals apparently. But, I digress. Anytime a light is out on my car, I have to replace it. Immediately. Until I do, everytime I am driving, it just eats away at me like a buzzard eating away at a carcass in the desert. I think people must think what a loser this guy is to have a light out. Everyone notices it. And they are thinking or talking about it. Trust me. So I went and bought a replacement bulb and put it in yesterday. That’s actually about two days longer than I would normally wait.

And lastly, in wintertime, I sometimes like to heat up the clothes I’m going to wear to bed in the dryer for just a couple of minutes before putting them on. (Was it really necessary to indicate that I heat them up before I put them on?) It’s actually quite delightful. I suggest you try it. This idea, as many of you may know (or could easily assume), came directly from Seinfeld.

(From “The Calzone”)
Kramer: “Elaine, you have to feel my pants.”
Elaine: “I’ll see ya later.”

Jerry: “You got your shirt in my oven?”
Kramer: “I didn’t have any quarters for the dryer. Anyway, this is better. And it’s more convenient.”
Jerry: “For both of us.”
Kramer: “And I have a lot more control. I have one shirt going for ten minutes, at 325 degrees.”

“I know I’ll go thru hell, girl, when you find someone else. But right now I’m in heaven, and I can’t help myself…”

You have to feel my pants

Thought of three more quirky things to add to my list from a few weeks ago.

I have a small television in my bedroom. When you adjust the volume, a bar appears on the screen and expands as you turn up the volume. Along with the bar, a number appears, indicating the volume level. Depending on what channel it’s on and whether I’m actually watching or just needing some noise to fall asleep to, I normally keep the volume between 20 and 30. But never on 26. Never. I always change it to 25 or 27. Why? Because 26 is a multiple of 13. I also would never leave the volume on 13 or 39. I don’t have a problem watching channel 13, or 26, or 39, or 52, etc. But the volume can’t come to rest on any of those numbers. Or something bad could will happen.

Over the weekend, a couple of people informed me that one of the brake lights was out on my car. This may not seem like a big thing. And apparently isn’t to some people whom I’ve almost hit because they have no working brake lights whatsoever. Or turn signals apparently. But, I digress. Anytime a light is out on my car, I have to replace it. Immediately. Until I do, everytime I am driving, it just eats away at me like a buzzard eating away at a carcass in the desert. I think people must think what a loser this guy is to have a light out. Everyone notices it. And they are thinking or talking about it. Trust me. So I went and bought a replacement bulb and put it in yesterday. That’s actually about two days longer than I would normally wait.

And lastly, in wintertime, I sometimes like to heat up the clothes I’m going to wear to bed in the dryer for just a couple of minutes before putting them on. (Was it really necessary to indicate that I heat them up before I put them on?) It’s actually quite delightful. I suggest you try it. This idea, as many of you may know (or could easily assume), came directly from Seinfeld.

(From “The Calzone”)
Kramer: “Elaine, you have to feel my pants.”
Elaine: “I’ll see ya later.”

Jerry: “You got your shirt in my oven?”
Kramer: “I didn’t have any quarters for the dryer. Anyway, this is better. And it’s more convenient.”
Jerry: “For both of us.”
Kramer: “And I have a lot more control. I have one shirt going for ten minutes, at 325 degrees.”

“I know I’ll go thru hell, girl, when you find someone else. But right now I’m in heaven, and I can’t help myself…”