Ya Quirky Bone

So I got tagged by Kerry and Sherry (no relation, far as I know) for two different memes. One is list five quirky things about yourself. The other is list five random facts about yourself that most people don’t know. So I have decided to combine them both into one meme.

So here are Five Quirky Things About Bone (That Most People Don’t Know):

1. I sing, hum, tap, almost non-stop. (I’m sure some would disagree with the “almost” part of that statement.) Very random songs, too. Carol of the Bells, Gold Digger, Piano Man. It matters not the genre. Ask anyone who knows me in real life. They all love it!

2. I don’t like mustard and cheese on the same sandwich. I like mustard. And I love cheese! But if I have a cheeseburger, I prefer no mustard. Mayo is fine, but no mustard. I feel that the mustard somehow takes away from the flavor of the cheese. I think I could probably prove this scientifically, but really, who has the time?

3. I organize my Christmas presents very neatly under the tree. I think it really bugged a couple of girls I dated. Well, they said it did anyway. One of my ex-girlfriends says that this is part of my OCD. But my presents must be stacked very orderly. It’s really a sight to see. Sort of like the crop circles or Stonehenge or something. Or at least like one of those really cool million domino displays on That’s Incredible. Maybe I’ll take a picture of them this year. I was raised in a house of neatly stacked presents, and I’ve turned out OK. Except for the fact that if I turn on a light switch with my left hand, I then also have to touch the light switch with my right hand. Or something very bad will happen.

4. I don’t like to use the bathroom if anyone else is in the house, or if I’m at work, or at someone else’s house. And I appreciate if you afford me the same consideration. And I’m not talking about urinating. Obviously, I have no problems doing that. No, I’m talking about a certain impending intestinal requirement. I actually dated a girl one time, and I’d make her go to the store so that I could meet said requirement. I also like to take my pants off during this activity, or at least one pant leg, so that I feel unencumbered. Is that weird?

And, if you’re still reading after that…
5. My bedroom door and closet door have to be closed before I can go to sleep at night. Every night. And not just pushed to, but completely fastened/latched/closed. If I get in bed and see that one of them is open, I get up and shut it. Then again, perhaps this is part of OCD?

*Note: I was going to include how it’s virtually impossible for me to hear someone misquote a Seinfeld episode and not correct them. Or if someone says Jerry did something, but it was really George, I just can’t let it go. But I figured most of you already assumed that.

I’m not going to tag anyone. But if you’d like to pretend that Bone tagged you, feel free.

“Yo, I’m the big booty type. I like ’em thick with they mind right…”

Ya Quirky Bone

So I got tagged by Kerry and Sherry (no relation, far as I know) for two different memes. One is list five quirky things about yourself. The other is list five random facts about yourself that most people don’t know. So I have decided to combine them both into one meme.

So here are Five Quirky Things About Bone (That Most People Don’t Know):

1. I sing, hum, tap, almost non-stop. (I’m sure some would disagree with the “almost” part of that statement.) Very random songs, too. Carol of the Bells, Gold Digger, Piano Man. It matters not the genre. Ask anyone who knows me in real life. They all love it!

2. I don’t like mustard and cheese on the same sandwich. I like mustard. And I love cheese! But if I have a cheeseburger, I prefer no mustard. Mayo is fine, but no mustard. I feel that the mustard somehow takes away from the flavor of the cheese. I think I could probably prove this scientifically, but really, who has the time?

3. I organize my Christmas presents very neatly under the tree. I think it really bugged a couple of girls I dated. Well, they said it did anyway. One of my ex-girlfriends says that this is part of my OCD. But my presents must be stacked very orderly. It’s really a sight to see. Sort of like the crop circles or Stonehenge or something. Or at least like one of those really cool million domino displays on That’s Incredible. Maybe I’ll take a picture of them this year. I was raised in a house of neatly stacked presents, and I’ve turned out OK. Except for the fact that if I turn on a light switch with my left hand, I then also have to touch the light switch with my right hand. Or something very bad will happen.

4. I don’t like to use the bathroom if anyone else is in the house, or if I’m at work, or at someone else’s house. And I appreciate if you afford me the same consideration. And I’m not talking about urinating. Obviously, I have no problems doing that. No, I’m talking about a certain impending intestinal requirement. I actually dated a girl one time, and I’d make her go to the store so that I could meet said requirement. I also like to take my pants off during this activity, or at least one pant leg, so that I feel unencumbered. Is that weird?

And, if you’re still reading after that…
5. My bedroom door and closet door have to be closed before I can go to sleep at night. Every night. And not just pushed to, but completely fastened/latched/closed. If I get in bed and see that one of them is open, I get up and shut it. Then again, perhaps this is part of OCD?

*Note: I was going to include how it’s virtually impossible for me to hear someone misquote a Seinfeld episode and not correct them. Or if someone says Jerry did something, but it was really George, I just can’t let it go. But I figured most of you already assumed that.

I’m not going to tag anyone. But if you’d like to pretend that Bone tagged you, feel free.

“Yo, I’m the big booty type. I like ’em thick with they mind right…”

The Contest

Pia is having a contest to decide the perfect song for me. So think about it. What song fits Bone? Click on the link to head over to her site and tell her what you think my song should be. If she gets enough ‘ments, she has promised to invite me to her first book signing, mention me on Regis & Kelly, and allow me to do the Pia Reality Tour. OK, not really. But maybe.

So yesterday was holiday shopping with Bone. Went straight to the mall after work. Didn’t get home until after 10:00. On the radio, I was listening to some call-in show. They were pretty much talking about the exact thing I mentioned the other day with the Hardees girl. One guy called and said if he met a girl who worked at McDonald’s, he’d be excited and tell all his buddies about her. But if a girl met a guy who worked at McDonald’s, she probably wouldn’t tell her friends where he worked and she’d be telling him everyday to find a new job. I was like, dude’s been reading my blog! While we’re on the subject, I saw Meg Ryan again this morning. Got her name this time. Her real name.

Anyway, while walking thru the mall with the handles from seven bags cutting off the circulation in my hands, I was stricken with a sudden bout of SNGLAIPOA depression (she’s-not-gonna-like-anything-I-pick-out-anyway). It was accompanied by a bit of what-am-i-even-doing-here-itis. Fortunately, that was short-lived.

But shopping for girls is difficult. Clothes-wise anyway. I mean, it’s gotta fit just right in all these different places. So maybe it’s foolish to even try. I should get something for effort though, right? Plus, in many of these stores, I’m the only guy in there. Normally, being the only guy in a sea of mostly attractive, well-dressed women is not a problem. It’s a dream. A fantasy. But I digress…

Let me just say this. If you work in retail, in a women’s clothing store or in the women’s department, and a guy walks in by himself, especially this time of year, please offer to help him. Because chances are, he really needs it.

On the positive side of this shopping for girls thing, I usually always implore a strategy of finding an attractive sales associate and asking her for help. I did this a couple of times yesterday. In one store, a very helpful (and rather voluptuous) girl even offered to try on an item I was considering. Who am I to stand in the way of excellent customer service. So while I stood there staring trying to decide, she said, “Shopping for girls can be hard.” Yeah, like I don’t know that.

After shopping, it felt like an Arby’s night. So while I was in the area, I called up James (from the first girl I ever called story). He is the only person I know who is anywhere near as big a Seinfeld fanatic as me. We could talk about Seinfeld for hours. He’ll be at the Festivus party.

Most interesting item of the day: Metrosexual Cartman

“I’ll be home for Christmas. You can plan on me. Please have snow and mistletoe, and presents on the tree…”

The Contest

Pia is having a contest to decide the perfect song for me. So think about it. What song fits Bone? Click on the link to head over to her site and tell her what you think my song should be. If she gets enough ‘ments, she has promised to invite me to her first book signing, mention me on Regis & Kelly, and allow me to do the Pia Reality Tour. OK, not really. But maybe.

So yesterday was holiday shopping with Bone. Went straight to the mall after work. Didn’t get home until after 10:00. On the radio, I was listening to some call-in show. They were pretty much talking about the exact thing I mentioned the other day with the Hardees girl. One guy called and said if he met a girl who worked at McDonald’s, he’d be excited and tell all his buddies about her. But if a girl met a guy who worked at McDonald’s, she probably wouldn’t tell her friends where he worked and she’d be telling him everyday to find a new job. I was like, dude’s been reading my blog! While we’re on the subject, I saw Meg Ryan again this morning. Got her name this time. Her real name.

Anyway, while walking thru the mall with the handles from seven bags cutting off the circulation in my hands, I was stricken with a sudden bout of SNGLAIPOA depression (she’s-not-gonna-like-anything-I-pick-out-anyway). It was accompanied by a bit of what-am-i-even-doing-here-itis. Fortunately, that was short-lived.

But shopping for girls is difficult. Clothes-wise anyway. I mean, it’s gotta fit just right in all these different places. So maybe it’s foolish to even try. I should get something for effort though, right? Plus, in many of these stores, I’m the only guy in there. Normally, being the only guy in a sea of mostly attractive, well-dressed women is not a problem. It’s a dream. A fantasy. But I digress…

Let me just say this. If you work in retail, in a women’s clothing store or in the women’s department, and a guy walks in by himself, especially this time of year, please offer to help him. Because chances are, he really needs it.

On the positive side of this shopping for girls thing, I usually always implore a strategy of finding an attractive sales associate and asking her for help. I did this a couple of times yesterday. In one store, a very helpful (and rather voluptuous) girl even offered to try on an item I was considering. Who am I to stand in the way of excellent customer service. So while I stood there staring trying to decide, she said, “Shopping for girls can be hard.” Yeah, like I don’t know that.

After shopping, it felt like an Arby’s night. So while I was in the area, I called up James (from the first girl I ever called story). He is the only person I know who is anywhere near as big a Seinfeld fanatic as me. We could talk about Seinfeld for hours. He’ll be at the Festivus party.

Most interesting item of the day: Metrosexual Cartman

“I’ll be home for Christmas. You can plan on me. Please have snow and mistletoe, and presents on the tree…”

Behold… the pole

Continuing in the tradtion of Frank Costanza and… unnamed others, I proudly present my Festivus pole:

Spent much of the evening working on this baby. Using my MacGyver-like resourcefulness, and skills I learned watching Alive, I was able to assemble the pole from materials I purchased. Total cost: About $15. So the people at festivuspoles.com can keep their forty dollar pole. Your momma costs forty dollars!

Declaration on the tree stand I purchased: “Great for crooked trunks!” Not sure why I found that humorous.

Five days until Bone’s First Annual Festivus Party! This is gonna be great!

“These moments we’re left with, may you always remember. These moments are shared by few. And those harbor lights, aw, they’re coming into view. We bid our farewell much too soon…”

Behold… the pole

Continuing in the tradtion of Frank Costanza and… unnamed others, I proudly present my Festivus pole:

Spent much of the evening working on this baby. Using my MacGyver-like resourcefulness, and skills I learned watching Alive, I was able to assemble the pole from materials I purchased. Total cost: About $15. So the people at festivuspoles.com can keep their forty dollar pole. Your momma costs forty dollars!

Declaration on the tree stand I purchased: “Great for crooked trunks!” Not sure why I found that humorous.

Five days until Bone’s First Annual Festivus Party! This is gonna be great!

“These moments we’re left with, may you always remember. These moments are shared by few. And those harbor lights, aw, they’re coming into view. We bid our farewell much too soon…”

What I Should Have Said to Meg Ryan

Happy holidays, and welcome in to another fun and exciting edition of “What I Should Have Said.” Today’s contestant once again, you know him, you love him… our very own Bone! On today’s show, we find Bone going thru the drive thru at the local Hardees for breakfast. He is very happy, as he has just spent five minutes scraping ice off his car so that he can see to drive to work. This, despite the fact that driving with ice-covered windows and zero visibility is increasingly tempting.

Bone’s order: Two cinnamon & raisin biscuits and a medium Mountain Dew.

At the window, we find today’s willing accomplice, an extremely cute blonde named… Hmm… well names really aren’t important. So we’ll just refer to her as Meg Ryan. Meg gives Bone his total. He hands her his money and she hands him his food and drink. When she returns with his change, she sees the accumulation of ice around the car window and says with a radiant smile, “It looks like it snowed on your car.”

If you would like to play, using your qwerty keyboard, type in now what you think Bone should have said. Here’s one suggestion:

What Bone should have said: “Yeah, wanna come over and help me build a snowman?”

What Bone actually did say: “Yeah…” (and quickly drives away)

Eh, it’s too early in the morning to be picking up chicks anyway. Especially very cute, friendly ones…? But I think I will be frequenting ye olde establishment more often. For breakfast only though. Not sure I could stomach a thickburger. Even for love…

Kids say the darndest things…
Switching gears, I thought I would leave you with a light-hearted slice of life. This exchange comes from my Mom via my aunt. My first cousin, who is in kindergarten, was trying to get her grandma’s attention the other day. Grandma was reading or watching TV or something, so she resorted to other tactics:

“Some people don’t believe in Santa Claus, Nanny.”
“Mmhmm.”
“Some people don’t even believe in God, Nanny.”
“Mmhmm.”
“The only reason you believe in God is so that you can go to heaven and meet Elvis.”

Attention achieved! Sounds like Nanny’s been telling some very interesting bedtime stories. Have a great weekend!

“I’m quiet you know. You make a first impression. I’ve found I’m scared to know I’m always on your mind…”

What I Should Have Said to Meg Ryan

Happy holidays, and welcome in to another fun and exciting edition of “What I Should Have Said.” Today’s contestant once again, you know him, you love him… our very own Bone! On today’s show, we find Bone going thru the drive thru at the local Hardees for breakfast. He is very happy, as he has just spent five minutes scraping ice off his car so that he can see to drive to work. This, despite the fact that driving with ice-covered windows and zero visibility is increasingly tempting.

Bone’s order: Two cinnamon & raisin biscuits and a medium Mountain Dew.

At the window, we find today’s willing accomplice, an extremely cute blonde named… Hmm… well names really aren’t important. So we’ll just refer to her as Meg Ryan. Meg gives Bone his total. He hands her his money and she hands him his food and drink. When she returns with his change, she sees the accumulation of ice around the car window and says with a radiant smile, “It looks like it snowed on your car.”

If you would like to play, using your qwerty keyboard, type in now what you think Bone should have said. Here’s one suggestion:

What Bone should have said: “Yeah, wanna come over and help me build a snowman?”

What Bone actually did say: “Yeah…” (and quickly drives away)

Eh, it’s too early in the morning to be picking up chicks anyway. Especially very cute, friendly ones…? But I think I will be frequenting ye olde establishment more often. For breakfast only though. Not sure I could stomach a thickburger. Even for love…

Kids say the darndest things…
Switching gears, I thought I would leave you with a light-hearted slice of life. This exchange comes from my Mom via my aunt. My first cousin, who is in kindergarten, was trying to get her grandma’s attention the other day. Grandma was reading or watching TV or something, so she resorted to other tactics:

“Some people don’t believe in Santa Claus, Nanny.”
“Mmhmm.”
“Some people don’t even believe in God, Nanny.”
“Mmhmm.”
“The only reason you believe in God is so that you can go to heaven and meet Elvis.”

Attention achieved! Sounds like Nanny’s been telling some very interesting bedtime stories. Have a great weekend!

“I’m quiet you know. You make a first impression. I’ve found I’m scared to know I’m always on your mind…”

Thursday Thirteen III

Thirteen Things from the mind of Bone…

1. Was going to try and think of a theme for this week’s Thirteen, but it just ain’t happening. So on with the randomness.

2. She was in town yesterday. We met at the mall, shopped a bit, then came back to my place. She really liked my place.

3. I don’t even know what to think or how I feel anymore about the whole situation. Had not seen her in about a year and a half. Yet we can get together on the spur of the moment and it’s just like we’ve been hanging out every week or something. Hugged tightly as she left. There’s a lot in that hug.

4. Just finished writing out Christmas cards. I have discovered that my cursive writing sucks. So I wrote some cards in cursive and printed a few. I might have even done one card half-print and half-cursive. That’s what the holidays are all about. Oh, and the envelopes weren’t sticking very well. I hope that glue wasn’t toxic.

5. I am a lot more stressed right now than I pretend to be. Work has been busier. I still have a lot of shopping to do. Not to mention getting everything ready for the Festivus party. Jerry, after shaving his chest: “I think I may have made a big mistake!” :-)

6. Festivite tally thusfar: 7 confirmed guests. 4 are undecided (although I think one was a joke and they are for sure coming). 2 have declined. And 8 haven’t yet replied.

7. It’s really difficult to follow up an entry like the Buffer Zone. Maybe I should just start going to movies and handing out citations to buffer zone violators.

8. Seems to me that we are losing more and more bloggers to My Space. Losing bloggers, in itself, is no big deal. But losing bloggers usually means losing commenters. And that is when I start to cry.

9. I just finished a cup of hot chocolate. Mmmm! Except that last little lukewarm sip in the bottom of the cup… really isn’t very good.

10. I really wish TVland or some channel would show Welcome Back, Kotter regularly. And Car 54 Where Are You. And Mork & Mindy.

11. My Janeane Garofalo entry got linked to on some Janeane Garofalo site.

12. Ten days until Christmas! I just want to slow down, watch some holiday movies, watch it snow, ride around and look at Christmas lights. Because once it’s gone, it’s gone.

13. I am really looking forward to New Year’s this year. *mischievous grin*

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Coyote Mike
2. Sallwood
3. Jen
4. Carnealian
5. Xinh
6. Renee
7. (leave your link in the comments, and I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

“We couldn’t tear ourselves away. I wonder if you care. I wonder if you still remember. Once upon a time, in your wildest dreams…”

Thursday Thirteen III

Thirteen Things from the mind of Bone…

1. Was going to try and think of a theme for this week’s Thirteen, but it just ain’t happening. So on with the randomness.

2. She was in town yesterday. We met at the mall, shopped a bit, then came back to my place. She really liked my place.

3. I don’t even know what to think or how I feel anymore about the whole situation. Had not seen her in about a year and a half. Yet we can get together on the spur of the moment and it’s just like we’ve been hanging out every week or something. Hugged tightly as she left. There’s a lot in that hug.

4. Just finished writing out Christmas cards. I have discovered that my cursive writing sucks. So I wrote some cards in cursive and printed a few. I might have even done one card half-print and half-cursive. That’s what the holidays are all about. Oh, and the envelopes weren’t sticking very well. I hope that glue wasn’t toxic.

5. I am a lot more stressed right now than I pretend to be. Work has been busier. I still have a lot of shopping to do. Not to mention getting everything ready for the Festivus party. Jerry, after shaving his chest: “I think I may have made a big mistake!” :-)

6. Festivite tally thusfar: 7 confirmed guests. 4 are undecided (although I think one was a joke and they are for sure coming). 2 have declined. And 8 haven’t yet replied.

7. It’s really difficult to follow up an entry like the Buffer Zone. Maybe I should just start going to movies and handing out citations to buffer zone violators.

8. Seems to me that we are losing more and more bloggers to My Space. Losing bloggers, in itself, is no big deal. But losing bloggers usually means losing commenters. And that is when I start to cry.

9. I just finished a cup of hot chocolate. Mmmm! Except that last little lukewarm sip in the bottom of the cup… really isn’t very good.

10. I really wish TVland or some channel would show Welcome Back, Kotter regularly. And Car 54 Where Are You. And Mork & Mindy.

11. My Janeane Garofalo entry got linked to on some Janeane Garofalo site.

12. Ten days until Christmas! I just want to slow down, watch some holiday movies, watch it snow, ride around and look at Christmas lights. Because once it’s gone, it’s gone.

13. I am really looking forward to New Year’s this year. *mischievous grin*

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Coyote Mike
2. Sallwood
3. Jen
4. Carnealian
5. Xinh
6. Renee
7. (leave your link in the comments, and I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

“We couldn’t tear ourselves away. I wonder if you care. I wonder if you still remember. Once upon a time, in your wildest dreams…”