Massage #2, Longwang, etc.

Blogging away while keeping an eye on Mister Longwang.
(Napoleon Dynamite voice) “Gah!” That’s so much more creative than Katrina and Rita.

Stay away from my danger
I hope you’ve all seen that Stuart Larkin skit on MadTV. It’s one of the funniest things in the history of television to me. So I went for my second massage yesterday. Going in, I was thinking there was no way it would feel as good as the first time. After all, there’s nothing like your first time, right? Wrong! This one was even better. She massaged each of my toes! Oh my good gracious, I had no idea that was such an erogenous zone. My toes are very ero-gen-ic? She also had me turn over for the last five minutes or so. Ruh roh, Shaggy. I cannot even put into words how wonderful the entire thing was. So, coming out, she says something like, “For someone who just recently got his first massage, you sure are getting accustomed to them.” Oh yeah! No doubt. Another girl who works there was sitting out in the front area there and she said, “They’re addictive aren’t they? You just want one everyday.” Exactly. You read my mind. Oh, and I remembered to tip her, too. Ten bucks for a sixty dollar massage. Do you think that’s good? I had to fight the urge to just hand over my entire wallet.

For the sake of fiscal responsibility, I’m going to try to only go once a month. However, I’m not sure if I can stick to that. I am addicted. My name is Bone, and I am a massage-aholic. Will you please rub on me?

A Big Sweaty Tale, by Bone
You remember my recently developed germophobic tendencies. Or maybe you don’t, but that link will refresh your memory. Anyhow, so it still smells really bad in here usually one or two days a week, due, I’m assuming, to Big Sweaty. So I have gotten in the practice of spraying down the studio with disinfectant everyday after he leaves. Well, the other day, Tuesday I think, he comes back in after I have sprayed and evidently smells the Lysol. So he asks me, “Does it smell bad in here?” As much as I would have liked to say, “It always smells bad in here after you’ve roosted for a few hours”, I instead struggled to come up with some false explanation. I looked around the room. Spotting some flowers that someone had received a few days before, I said, “Well those flowers were starting to smell pretty strong, so I sprayed some Lysol.” So disaster was narrowly averted, and I didn’t even have to give up my Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups as a sacrificial offering.

In other news…
Amy Poehler is on Conan tonight! She narrowly missed Bone’s top seven celebrity crushes. I’m a sucker for funny girls.

We finally had our first “fall” day yesterday. Very nice and cool. I wish I could box it up and send it to ya.

Well, that’s about it for now. Big game tomorrow. I’m nervous. I went by the mall yesterday after my massage. Got a Bama shirt at Hibbetts to wear to the game Saturday. They are a little higher, but they usually have the best Bama stuff.Hope you all have a great weekend. Roll Tide!

“Chantilly lace, and a pretty face, and a pony tail hangin’ down. A wiggle in her walk, giggle in her talk, makes the world go round. Ain’t nothin’ in the world like a big eyed girl, that makes me act so funny, spend my doggone money…”