Ants, Birds, & Smack

Sometimes I wish that we still lived in the days where people were given last name’s based on what they did, or what their father did. Can you imagine? Then you’d have names like Bone Bloggerman. And perhaps my son would be named something like Isosceles Bloggerson. Or Blerdson. But alas, it is not to be.

Well, I have ants in my truck. Discovered them tonight on my way to dinner. So I’m driving down the highway trying to smash them with an old check stub (the only piece of paper I could find), and I keep swerving off the road and into the other lane. Have you ever smashed an ant, then smelled it? It has a very odd, distinct smell. Try it sometime. Anyhow, I figure they must have gotten in there from some of the boxes when I was moving. Never had ants in my vehicle before. So, I guess there’s only one thing to do. Sell my truck. Tomorrow.

It only gets better… or worse…
While running at the track yesterday, it was almost dusk and a very pleasant evening. I noticed a flock of birds lining up on the powerlines high above my head. I started wondering what they thought of all these people so far down below. And then I wondered if birds ever purposely tried to– SPLAT!!! Ewwwww! I’ve been hit! On my left ear. Stupid ornithological hellions! So as I continued running, I was trying to wipe my ear clean with my shirt. As luck would have it, there were hotties all over the track, and a couple were fast approaching. I can only imagine trying to flirt with them in my current predicament:
“Come here often?”
“Leave me alone.”
“Maybe I could call you sometime and we could go for a run together.”
“Get away from me.”
“What? Is it the bird crap on my ear? Is that what it is? Oh, I guess Miss Fancy Pants Runner Girl has never been crapped on by a bird. Well, aren’t you special?!”

So, I guess there’s only one thing to do. Go Picasso on my ear.

Never fear, however. I’m not going to let a little fowl matter in my auditory canal bring me down. Over the past few months, I don’t know what it is, but I have been in this really happy place. Life has truly been good. Or maybe this is what comes with maturity, and learning to be content with my situation, rather than let my situation dictate my mood. I would like to think that. Whatever it is, it has been really nice. Of course, once I run out of heroin, things could be quite different.

Oh, I scheduled my second massage for Thursday afternoon. I can’t wait! I’m addicted!

OK, I’m off to find some Q-tips… and a sharp paring knife :-)

“Please don’t make me answer you. The world is big but my circles are small. And please don’t try to shut me out. I’m in love, that’s all…”