Rub Me The Right Way

September 15, 2005 at 10:49 pm 16 comments

(from “The Masseuse”)
Kramer: “First she sets the mood perfectly with this new age music played over ocean sounds. Then she lays you out on this table, and she proceeds to rub oil over your entire body. And she rubs long. And deep. Jerry, she rubs with love. Every muscles she touches just… oozes, beneath those silky, soft fingers. You can scarcely contain yourself, buddy.”

Oh. My. Goodness.

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

Yesssssssssssss…

Well, that pretty much describes my afternoon. I got my massage at Red Jasper Spa today. It was wonderful! So very relaxing. I can’t believe it took me 32 years to discover this delightful diversion. The hour seemed more like fifteen minutes. Lying there, face down, with my head in that little mini cushioned toilet-seat-looking thing, I was so relaxed that a couple of times I almost drooled. How attractive is that!

So I get there and we go into the room. She tells me to take my clothes off and get under the sheet and she’ll be right back. (I love when girls say that to me…. what?) So I ask her if that means everything. She says yes, as long as I’m comfortable. But you know, I didn’t want to take everything off, if that didn’t mean everything. Oh, by the way, I’ll be talking more about the massage on the show tonight.

She told me my back was extremely tight and that I should come back a few times until I got that loosened up. Umm, OK! Talked me into it. Oh, and I didn’t tip her. So I should have tipped, right? What do you think, ten bucks? I’ll have to make that up next time.

Anyhow, thank you to the person who challenged me to do something I had never done before. And thanks for all your ideas and to whomever mentioned or made me think about a massage.

Now, I just need some ideas on how to come up with 60 extra bucks a week. I think I’m addicted.

“Girl, I’m faded but I feel alright. Thinkin’ ’bout makin’ my move tonight. I can’t pretend that you’re one of my friends when you’re holdin’ my body tight…”

Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

A Blerd’s Dissertation Baby Jesus Dog

16 Comments Add your own

  • 1. lindsy  |  September 16, 2005 at 8:37 am

    Can you come up with a way to find me an extra 60 bucks too? I want to become addicted!

  • 2. Cindy  |  September 16, 2005 at 8:52 am

    Hurray! I’m so glad you enjoyed yourself – and I can’t wait to hear more..um..details..on the show. ;-) I don’t mean to sound like a mom (keep in mind I’m only a year or so older than you) but…I’m proud of you for doing something different and outside your ‘norm’.
    You can budget the $60 a week somehow – or, try it every 2 weeks maybe?

  • 3. Carnealian  |  September 16, 2005 at 9:40 am

    Yea, I agree, every other week might be good. Maybe you could try to hot stone massage or try deep tissue. Guys seem to go for deep tissue, I on the other hand would have to be scraped from the ceiling after that. That’s painful! Then there’s reiki, shiatsu, oh you have tons of choices!

  • 4. Carnealian  |  September 16, 2005 at 9:40 am

    Yea, I agree, every other week might be good. Maybe you could try to hot stone massage or try deep tissue. Guys seem to go for deep tissue, I on the other hand would have to be scraped from the ceiling after that. That’s painful! Then there’s reiki, shiatsu, oh you have tons of choices!

  • 5. Bone  |  September 16, 2005 at 10:01 am

    Lindsy: I’ll see what I can do. But that means you’ll have to start paying for some of our dates.

    Cindy: Thanks, Mom ;-) Just kidding. I don’t think I would have done it without the support of my blog group.

    Let’s see, what could I cut out? Cable? Food? I’d def trade food for that!

    Carnealian: Hot stone and deep tissue do sound painful. I guess I could try it though.

  • 6. The Blonde  |  September 16, 2005 at 11:22 am

    I’m so glad you liked it!!!

    And definitly make sure you tip that girl, next time….

    If she had you completely nakie, rubbed your body from head to toe, and brought you to a point of nearly drooling… she deserves a tip. ;)

  • 7. Sarah  |  September 16, 2005 at 12:05 pm

    You might want to try Thai massage too. As far as I can tell, Thai massage translates to “beating the hell out of you in all the right ways.” The lady I go to is crazy- actually climbs up onto the table and bends me in ways the human body shouldn’t bend, but in the end I feel amazing. You can usually get by tipping a masseuse 10%. They’re not like waiters, their base pay is pretty decent.

  • 8. InterstellarLass  |  September 16, 2005 at 12:32 pm

    You thought of the massage all by yourself. I suggested the mani/pedi. You could go for a whole ‘spa day’ when they do a massage/mani/pedi/cut/color/style/facial…

    Yes, you should have tipped her. 10-20%, depending on how much you drooled.

    So, I assume you were so relaxed that nothing moved?

  • 9. Xinh  |  September 16, 2005 at 12:41 pm

    I have a friend who alternates chiropractic visits and massages every 2 weeks. She loves it.

  • 10. Bone  |  September 16, 2005 at 1:26 pm

    Blonde: For real. I was actually thinking of tipping her before I got there. But my mind was anywhere but on a tip afterwards.

    Sarah: Thai massage? Now I’m feeling like this is just the tip of the iceberg into the world of relaxful delights.

    Lass: I wasn’t that relaxed. Let’s just say I’m thankful I was face down the entire time. Very thankful.

    Xinh: That sounds ideal. Now is my wallet, er, European carry-all, up for the challenge? :-)

  • 11. lindsy  |  September 16, 2005 at 3:53 pm

    Alright I’ll do my part and start paying for our dates! Be ready for LOTS of Quizno’s…haha.

  • 12. Arlene  |  September 16, 2005 at 4:29 pm

    I feel HORRIBLY behind when you already have 11 comments!!

    I’m so glad you loved your massage…they are amazing! I’d go all the time, I just can’t afford it, so I normally get them a couple times a year (not nearly enough, I know!!)

    I’d say show a little leg to raise money ;-)

    Can’t wait to hear the show tonight!!!!!!

  • 13. Crys  |  September 16, 2005 at 7:40 pm

    i have never had a massage, but that sounds like a load of fun.

    p.s. UT is totally rocking in football…and in case you didn’t read my blog, I met some of our basketball players while working the other night!!! I was super excited :D

  • 14. Crystal  |  September 16, 2005 at 7:40 pm

    i have never had a massage, but that sounds like a load of fun.

    p.s. UT is totally rocking in football…and in case you didn’t read my blog, I met some of our basketball players while working the other night!!! I was super excited :D

  • 15. OC girl  |  September 17, 2005 at 9:47 pm

    Bone- It sounds delightful…

    Enjoy every single one in the future… just be sure that you tip her next time (~20%)

  • 16. ocg  |  September 17, 2005 at 9:47 pm

    Bone- It sounds delightful…

    Enjoy every single one in the future… just be sure that you tip her next time (~20%)

Leave a comment

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


About Me

Name: Bone
Age: 33
Location: Alabama, USA
September 2005
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

Recent Posts