Candy Hearts

Call Me, You’re Cute, I Love You…

I’m sitting here eating some of these little candy hearts. You know the ones… Be Mine, Kiss Me, Miss You, Lets Kiss, etc. Among the more interesting ones are “Page Me” and “Whiz Kid.” First of all, pagers are soooo early 90’s. And Whiz Kid? What the crap does that have to do with Valentine’s Day? Perhaps you give that to some nerdy kid. “Here, whiz kid. This is why you don’t have a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day.” Then there’s “Let’s read.” Oh yeah, that line is guaranteed to get you a winner. Any kid that walks up to a girl and says “Let’s read” is probably gonna be in therapy at some point in life. Anyway, I bought six boxes of these, so I’ll have something to keep me occupied for the next couple of days. Actually, it reminds me of a funny story when I gave one of these to my hot eleventh grade teacher, and she… Well, on second thought, nevermind.

The Cards

I also bought a couple VD cards to send to some female friends. I tell you what, about 80% of the cards I saw are crap. I’m not talking about the deep, sappy cards with four paragraphs of writing. And I’m not talking about the humorous cards. There are definitely some pretty clever cards. But I’m talking about those not-too-deep-nothing-special-just-want-to-say-Happy-Valentine’s-Day cards. How many ways is there to say it? One has a rainbow. One has a bumblebee. One has some flowers. One is just red and pink with writing. They all basically say exactly the same thing. Who gets paid to write these particular cards? That’s the job I want.

“I have the body of a taut, pre-teen Swedish boy!”

Here’s your assignment for today: Click on “View My Complete Profile” on the right side of the page. Take a picture. Or do a PrintScreen and paste it somewhere. Take careful note of the page, because it won’t be long until something on there will be changing, never to be the same again. (And no, I’m not having a sex change.) And there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Some of my absolute favorite comments (and by absolute favorite, I mean least favorite) are “Age is just a number” and the surprised tone when they repeat it back to me, “Thirty-two!?!?” Some of my favorites (even if you’re lying) are “Well, you don’t look it” and “I’d still go out with you.” Anyhow, I thought I would share some dialogue from the past couple of weeks with you. Perhaps you will enjoy it. And feel free to add your own.

“How old are you gonna be?”

“Ummm… thirty-two.”

“Thirty-two!? I thought you were about twenty-seven.”

“Well, I did, too. But I woke up one day, and I wasn’t.”

“I’ll be thirty-two.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, I don’t really remember my first couple of birthdays, but ever since I’ve been counting, yes, I’m pretty sure.”

“I don’t think of you as being that old.”

“Well, I don’t feel that old.”

“Wow, that’s just eight away from forty.”

(OK, that is the worst one. lol I am aware of 32’s proximity to 40. So, let’s just leave that one unsaid.)

“I open up the front door, open up the front door. And I always think I never know what tomorrow has in store…”

Candy Hearts

Call Me, You’re Cute, I Love You…
I’m sitting here eating some of these little candy hearts. You know the ones… Be Mine, Kiss Me, Miss You, Lets Kiss, etc. Among the more interesting ones are “Page Me” and “Whiz Kid.” First of all, pagers are soooo early 90’s. And Whiz Kid? What the crap does that have to do with Valentine’s Day? Perhaps you give that to some nerdy kid. “Here, whiz kid. This is why you don’t have a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day.” Then there’s “Let’s read.” Oh yeah, that line is guaranteed to get you a winner. Any kid that walks up to a girl and says “Let’s read” is probably gonna be in therapy at some point in life. Anyway, I bought six boxes of these, so I’ll have something to keep me occupied for the next couple of days. Actually, it reminds me of a funny story when I gave one of these to my hot eleventh grade teacher, and she… Well, on second thought, nevermind.

The Cards
I also bought a couple VD cards to send to some female friends. I tell you what, about 80% of the cards I saw are crap. I’m not talking about the deep, sappy cards with four paragraphs of writing. And I’m not talking about the humorous cards. There are definitely some pretty clever cards. But I’m talking about those not-too-deep-nothing-special-just-want-to-say-Happy-Valentine’s-Day cards. How many ways is there to say it? One has a rainbow. One has a bumblebee. One has some flowers. One is just red and pink with writing. They all basically say exactly the same thing. Who gets paid to write these particular cards? That’s the job I want.

“I have the body of a taut, pre-teen Swedish boy!”
Here’s your assignment for today: Click on “View My Complete Profile” on the right side of the page. Take a picture. Or do a PrintScreen and paste it somewhere. Take careful note of the page, because it won’t be long until something on there will be changing, never to be the same again. (And no, I’m not having a sex change.) And there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Some of my absolute favorite comments (and by absolute favorite, I mean least favorite) are “Age is just a number” and the surprised tone when they repeat it back to me, “Thirty-two!?!?” Some of my favorites (even if you’re lying) are “Well, you don’t look it” and “I’d still go out with you.” Anyhow, I thought I would share some dialogue from the past couple of weeks with you. Perhaps you will enjoy it. And feel free to add your own.

“How old are you gonna be?”
“Ummm… thirty-two.”
“Thirty-two!? I thought you were about twenty-seven.”
“Well, I did, too. But I woke up one day, and I wasn’t.”

“I’ll be thirty-two.”
“Are you sure?”
“Well, I don’t really remember my first couple of birthdays, but ever since I’ve been counting, yes, I’m pretty sure.”

“I don’t think of you as being that old.”
“Well, I don’t feel that old.”
“Wow, that’s just eight away from forty.”
(OK, that is the worst one. lol I am aware of 32’s proximity to 40. So, let’s just leave that one unsaid.)

“I open up the front door, open up the front door. And I always think I never know what tomorrow has in store…”