You might need a life IF…

Today’s Seinfeld Trivia question:
What movie prompted Frank Costanza to begin selling computers from home?

Yesterday’s answer was indeed Christopher Cross. (episode: The Milennium)

You might need a life…
After watching the World Scrabble Championships yesterday afternoon on ESPN2, I started thinking I could build an entire comedy routine based on the phrase, “You might need a life,” similar to Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck” jokes. For example:

-If you watch more than five minutes of the World Scrabble Championships on TV…
-If you own 450 Nintendo games…
-If you’re over 30 and go to Best Buy every Saturday night to play free video games…
-If you keep an online journal, detailing your entire life… Oh wait. What?

Time to spare
Well, I did it! Recieved my cell phone bill today. Over the past two weeks of the billing cycle, I used 36 daytime, weekday minutes. That’s 3.6 minutes per day. I even ended up with five minutes to spare to rollover to this month. Wow, I was really a cell phone miser over those two weeks. Very parsimonious.

Zoloft, Zoloft, Everywhere…
Went to Logan’s with Kyle for dinner last night. Yet another Sara waited on us. The pen she left for K to sign his check with was a Zoloft pen. That made his night, as you might imagine. I’m like, dude, you’ve got the perfect in with her. “Uh, excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice you gave me a Zoloft pen. Well, I happen to be taking that, too. Maybe I could give you a call sometime.” Got done up there about 8:45. The night was young, but I am not, so I headed home.

Friday Flashback
For today’s FF, I thought instead of one particular event, I’d include a few daily funny flashbacks. There come from the month of March 2004. Enjoy:

“To his credit though, she’s not anything to write home about, BUT, she IS female.”
“Well female is a good quality. It is almost always the first thing i look for.”
“It should be THE first.”
“Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

H: “Ya’ll are like two kids. That’s stuff that kids order.”
K: “Yeah. So?”
H: “When are ya’ll gonna turn into men?”
(K and J look at each other confusedly.)
J: “Oh, don’t hold your breath.”

“Wow, you got her name already? I’m impressed.”
“Well I assume that’s her name. That’s what’s on her name tag.”

“35-14 is a football score. It’s not the ages of two people that should be dating.”

“So what now? It’s plain to see we’re over. And I hate when things are over, and so much is left undone…”

You might need a life IF…

Today’s Seinfeld Trivia question:

What movie prompted Frank Costanza to begin selling computers from home?

Yesterday’s answer was indeed Christopher Cross. (episode: The Milennium)

You might need a life…

After watching the World Scrabble Championships yesterday afternoon on ESPN2, I started thinking I could build an entire comedy routine based on the phrase, “You might need a life,” similar to Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck” jokes. For example:

-If you watch more than five minutes of the World Scrabble Championships on TV…

-If you own 450 Nintendo games…

-If you’re over 30 and go to Best Buy every Saturday night to play free video games…

-If you keep an online journal, detailing your entire life… Oh wait. What?

Time to spare

Well, I did it! Recieved my cell phone bill today. Over the past two weeks of the billing cycle, I used 36 daytime, weekday minutes. That’s 3.6 minutes per day. I even ended up with five minutes to spare to rollover to this month. Wow, I was really a cell phone miser over those two weeks. Very parsimonious.

Zoloft, Zoloft, Everywhere…

Went to Logan’s with Kyle for dinner last night. Yet another Sara waited on us. The pen she left for K to sign his check with was a Zoloft pen. That made his night, as you might imagine. I’m like, dude, you’ve got the perfect in with her. “Uh, excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice you gave me a Zoloft pen. Well, I happen to be taking that, too. Maybe I could give you a call sometime.” Got done up there about 8:45. The night was young, but I am not, so I headed home.

Friday Flashback

For today’s FF, I thought instead of one particular event, I’d include a few daily funny flashbacks. There come from the month of March 2004. Enjoy:

“To his credit though, she’s not anything to write home about, BUT, she IS female.”

“Well female is a good quality. It is almost always the first thing i look for.”

“It should be THE first.”

“Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

H: “Ya’ll are like two kids. That’s stuff that kids order.”

K: “Yeah. So?”

H: “When are ya’ll gonna turn into men?”

(K and J look at each other confusedly.)

J: “Oh, don’t hold your breath.”

“Wow, you got her name already? I’m impressed.”

“Well I assume that’s her name. That’s what’s on her name tag.”

“35-14 is a football score. It’s not the ages of two people that should be dating.”

“So what now? It’s plain to see we’re over. And I hate when things are over, and so much is left undone…”

In the news…

Another entry is coming later today, but I’ve been busy, so this is all I’ve got right now…

Study Indicates 1 in 400 Are Human Lie Detectors
That’s pretty cool. I have a pretty keen sense of knowing when someone is fibbin’.

Lousiana Professor Goes On Rampage, Threatens Class
Dude, I think I had him!! Except he used to teach poli-sci :-)

And finally, Woman Impaled On Bed Spring For Over Three Hours
“Million-to-one shot, doc. Million-to-one shot.”

“He said I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me, when a moment came that stopped me on a dime…”

In the news…

Another entry is coming later today, but I’ve been busy, so this is all I’ve got right now…

Study Indicates 1 in 400 Are Human Lie Detectors

That’s pretty cool. I have a pretty keen sense of knowing when someone is fibbin’.

Lousiana Professor Goes On Rampage, Threatens Class

Dude, I think I had him!! Except he used to teach poli-sci :-)

And finally, Woman Impaled On Bed Spring For Over Three Hours

“Million-to-one shot, doc. Million-to-one shot.”

“He said I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me, when a moment came that stopped me on a dime…”