Happy Halloween

Here’s the Seinfeld Halloween bit. Enjoy.

10-4, over and out

This one will definitely appear in the Friday Flashback some day. Went up to Logan’s Friday night and seated with some unknown server. So Shanna walks by and I’m like, “You didn’t wanna serve us?” So she promptly pulls the other girl aside, comes back to our table, and is like, “OK, you got me now.” So that was cool. Then, IT happens as we’re leaving. She’s sitting at the rail eating, all by herself, and she’s turned around waving to us. So Kyle is ahead of me, and as he gets to the door he gives her a military style salute, then turns and walks out the door. So when I see her, she is laughing and still waving, so I wave and walk outside, where K is asking himself what on Earth prompted him to salute her. lol It was quite funny. So, bottom line, if you want to let a girl know you’re interested, put two fingers to your forehead and salute. That’s the official new “hottie salute.”

Long Day

Went to the large metropolis of Phil Campbell to help LMV film a high school band competition Saturday. I tell you, there’s nothing I like more than listening to a good high school band… or nothing I like less. Whichever. Really, though, it wasn’t too bad. Being around those kids and overhearing conversations and such made me realize, high school is definitely one of the best times in life, unless you’re like an outcast or something. Enjoy it while you can. Shane brought Sarah, Paul, and Jenna down from Nashville. Sarah had never seen any cotton before. Well, I’m sure she saw a lot yesterday. There was a hottie working one of the vendor booths, but I was unable to ever find a chance to talk to her, even though her booth was only about fifteen feet from ours. These little kids were trying to peddle some cheeseburgers to Tag, Kyle, and me. I was like, “Did you cook them?” She was like, “No, we bought them at McDonald’s.” I’m thinking, “Well, you’re mother is really cute and all, but no way I’m buying a McDonald’s cheeseburger for $2. Got back here around 10:00, then we all decided to eat at Logan’s. Sat with Bizarro Shane. Boy, it was really bizarre seeing Bizarro Shane take Shane’s order. It was like worlds collided or something.

Paperback Writer

Tomorrow’s the day. The start of National Novel Writing Month. 50,000 words in 30 days. I still have no idea. Maybe I’ll dream something tonight. Or I can be the first person ever who fails to reach 100 words.

Weekend funnies

“You can’t just start going to a restaurant, sit with the same chick two or three times, and then ask her out. That’s unheard of.”

“Look, that one has a solid rocket booster.”

“Why can’t we remember her name?”

“Probably because she wasn’t that good-looking.”

“Dear sir or madam, will you read my book? It took me years to write it, will you take a look? It’s based on a novel by a man named Lear, and I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer…”

Happy Halloween

Here’s the Seinfeld Halloween bit. Enjoy.

10-4, over and out
This one will definitely appear in the Friday Flashback some day. Went up to Logan’s Friday night and seated with some unknown server. So Shanna walks by and I’m like, “You didn’t wanna serve us?” So she promptly pulls the other girl aside, comes back to our table, and is like, “OK, you got me now.” So that was cool. Then, IT happens as we’re leaving. She’s sitting at the rail eating, all by herself, and she’s turned around waving to us. So Kyle is ahead of me, and as he gets to the door he gives her a military style salute, then turns and walks out the door. So when I see her, she is laughing and still waving, so I wave and walk outside, where K is asking himself what on Earth prompted him to salute her. lol It was quite funny. So, bottom line, if you want to let a girl know you’re interested, put two fingers to your forehead and salute. That’s the official new “hottie salute.”

Long Day
Went to the large metropolis of Phil Campbell to help LMV film a high school band competition Saturday. I tell you, there’s nothing I like more than listening to a good high school band… or nothing I like less. Whichever. Really, though, it wasn’t too bad. Being around those kids and overhearing conversations and such made me realize, high school is definitely one of the best times in life, unless you’re like an outcast or something. Enjoy it while you can. Shane brought Sarah, Paul, and Jenna down from Nashville. Sarah had never seen any cotton before. Well, I’m sure she saw a lot yesterday. There was a hottie working one of the vendor booths, but I was unable to ever find a chance to talk to her, even though her booth was only about fifteen feet from ours. These little kids were trying to peddle some cheeseburgers to Tag, Kyle, and me. I was like, “Did you cook them?” She was like, “No, we bought them at McDonald’s.” I’m thinking, “Well, you’re mother is really cute and all, but no way I’m buying a McDonald’s cheeseburger for $2. Got back here around 10:00, then we all decided to eat at Logan’s. Sat with Bizarro Shane. Boy, it was really bizarre seeing Bizarro Shane take Shane’s order. It was like worlds collided or something.

Paperback Writer
Tomorrow’s the day. The start of National Novel Writing Month. 50,000 words in 30 days. I still have no idea. Maybe I’ll dream something tonight. Or I can be the first person ever who fails to reach 100 words.

Weekend funnies
“You can’t just start going to a restaurant, sit with the same chick two or three times, and then ask her out. That’s unheard of.”

“Look, that one has a solid rocket booster.”

“Why can’t we remember her name?”
“Probably because she wasn’t that good-looking.”

“Dear sir or madam, will you read my book? It took me years to write it, will you take a look? It’s based on a novel by a man named Lear, and I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer…”

Imitation Friday Five

Another Friday Five? Well, since the the original shut down in May, a couple of imitations have popped up. This is one.

1. Do you celebrate Halloween?
Yes. Almost always. Mostly. I think. Well, I buy candy, but not many kids come by. I do usually rent a couple of scary movies and watch them, and I occasionally go to a lame Halloween party.

2. Scariest movie you’ve ever seen:
I think Psycho is the best. The Ring really freaked me out for some reason, as far as more recent movies go. The Exorcist, The Shining, and Needful Things round out my top five, I guess.

3. Did you carve a pumpkin this year?
No, I was much too busy carving other things.

4. Best costume you’ve ever worn or seen:
There was a guy in Applebees one night who looked EXACTLY like Bill Clinton, although I’m not sure it was a costume, since it wasn’t even October. Holly’s cheerleader costume from a couple of years ago would rank pretty high, too ;-)

5. Trick.. or treat?
Trick.. or snap. lol More from the Seinfeld Halloween bit. I guess I’d say treat.

“And I was not the answer, so forget you ever thought it was me. I’m not the one who broke you. I’m not the one you should fear…”

Imitation Friday Five

Another Friday Five? Well, since the the original shut down in May, a couple of imitations have popped up. This is one.

1. Do you celebrate Halloween?

Yes. Almost always. Mostly. I think. Well, I buy candy, but not many kids come by. I do usually rent a couple of scary movies and watch them, and I occasionally go to a lame Halloween party.

2. Scariest movie you’ve ever seen:

I think Psycho is the best. The Ring really freaked me out for some reason, as far as more recent movies go. The Exorcist, The Shining, and Needful Things round out my top five, I guess.

3. Did you carve a pumpkin this year?

No, I was much too busy carving other things.

4. Best costume you’ve ever worn or seen:

There was a guy in Applebees one night who looked EXACTLY like Bill Clinton, although I’m not sure it was a costume, since it wasn’t even October. Holly’s cheerleader costume from a couple of years ago would rank pretty high, too ;-)

5. Trick.. or treat?

Trick.. or snap. lol More from the Seinfeld Halloween bit. I guess I’d say treat.

“And I was not the answer, so forget you ever thought it was me. I’m not the one who broke you. I’m not the one you should fear…”

The fizz in a Pepper

Well, I have to begin writing my novel in 3 days, and I have NO IDEA!! Pendant Publishing is not going to be happy. Maybe I could write a novel about nothing. Hmmm. Anyway, today’s blog includes a couple of features I hope you enjoy, the Friday Flashback and Search String Hysteria.

Seinfeld Trivia
What fake charity does George give out donation cards for as Christmas gifts at Kruger Industrial Smoothing?

Yesterday’s answer was indeed Snoopy and Prickly Pete. (“The Wizard”)

Car Wash
While staring outside thru the door of the compound yesterday, I noticed my truck looked like I had covered it in glue or some other clear adhesive and then driven it thru the Sahara Desert. So I took it to the car wash last night. Watched some football. ESPN and ESPN2 will have a college football game on for 19 straight nights, beginning with last night. I’m giddy!! Went to Wal-Mart to buy some Halloween candy, among other stuff. I hope you’ve heard Seinfeld’s excellent Halloween bit from “I’m Telling You For The Last Time.” “Of course, my mother makes me wear my winter coat over the costume anyway. I don’t recall Superman wearing a jacket.” May have to look some of that up and post it later.

Search String Hysteria
Oh, those crazy googlers and yahooers. Recent searches for my site:
– sissy girl spanked pictures (This month’s winner!)
– “shoot George Bush”
– sexy Rio hotties (hey, I’m with ya on that one)
– what does “fizz in a pepper” mean
– me names jeremy “no more” girl used kansas city mo hair 2004 love HIM hate die (do huh?)
– lady aberlin pics (dude, seriously)
– “Like Mike, If I could be like Mike” lyrics
– seinfeld dreaded device kramer (I believe you mean the dreaded apparatus.)

What does “fizz in a pepper” mean?
The most popular search over the past couple of weeks has been related to the Tim McGraw song, “Back When.” Well, here are the lyrics for you. As far as this particular phrase, I am fairly certain it refers to the practice of putting peanuts in a Coke, or in this case, a Dr. Pepper, and the fizz that results. Yes, this is done, especially here in the South. Well, maybe not so much anymore. I guess that’s the point of the song. You should try it sometime. Works much better in a bottle, rather than a can ;-)

Friday Flashback
It’s time for the Friday Flashback, because nothing good ever happens anymore. So many memorable events happened on the lake house trip in January. This particular one, I like to call the James Brown story. Enjoy:

And now it’s time for “Playing Cranium with a bunch of white people”:
So there’s this one part of Cranium where you describe a famous person. You can talk and move, but you can’t say names of people or places. So here were my clues:
“I am the godfather of soul.”
“I was in prison for awhile, and people wore t-shirts that said, free me.”
OK, now can you not guess who that is? No one at the lake house knew who I was talking about. I would think the first clue would be a dead giveaway.

“So don’t delay, act now, supplies are running out. Allow if you’re still alive, six to eight years to arrive. And if you follow there may be a tomorrow. But if the offer is shunned, you might as well be walkin’ on the sun…”

The fizz in a Pepper

Well, I have to begin writing my novel in 3 days, and I have NO IDEA!! Pendant Publishing is not going to be happy. Maybe I could write a novel about nothing. Hmmm. Anyway, today’s blog includes a couple of features I hope you enjoy, the Friday Flashback and Search String Hysteria.

Seinfeld Trivia

What fake charity does George give out donation cards for as Christmas gifts at Kruger Industrial Smoothing?

Yesterday’s answer was indeed Snoopy and Prickly Pete. (“The Wizard”)

Car Wash

While staring outside thru the door of the compound yesterday, I noticed my truck looked like I had covered it in glue or some other clear adhesive and then driven it thru the Sahara Desert. So I took it to the car wash last night. Watched some football. ESPN and ESPN2 will have a college football game on for 19 straight nights, beginning with last night. I’m giddy!! Went to Wal-Mart to buy some Halloween candy, among other stuff. I hope you’ve heard Seinfeld’s excellent Halloween bit from “I’m Telling You For The Last Time.” “Of course, my mother makes me wear my winter coat over the costume anyway. I don’t recall Superman wearing a jacket.” May have to look some of that up and post it later.

Search String Hysteria

Oh, those crazy googlers and yahooers. Recent searches for my site:

– sissy girl spanked pictures (This month’s winner!)

– “shoot George Bush”

– sexy Rio hotties (hey, I’m with ya on that one)

– what does “fizz in a pepper” mean

– me names jeremy “no more” girl used kansas city mo hair 2004 love HIM hate die (do huh?)

– lady aberlin pics (dude, seriously)

– “Like Mike, If I could be like Mike” lyrics

– seinfeld dreaded device kramer (I believe you mean the dreaded apparatus.)

What does “fizz in a pepper” mean?

The most popular search over the past couple of weeks has been related to the Tim McGraw song, “Back When.” Well, here are the lyrics for you. As far as this particular phrase, I am fairly certain it refers to the practice of putting peanuts in a Coke, or in this case, a Dr. Pepper, and the fizz that results. Yes, this is done, especially here in the South. Well, maybe not so much anymore. I guess that’s the point of the song. You should try it sometime. Works much better in a bottle, rather than a can ;-)

Friday Flashback

It’s time for the Friday Flashback, because nothing good ever happens anymore. So many memorable events happened on the lake house trip in January. This particular one, I like to call the James Brown story. Enjoy:

And now it’s time for “Playing Cranium with a bunch of white people”:

So there’s this one part of Cranium where you describe a famous person. You can talk and move, but you can’t say names of people or places. So here were my clues:

“I am the godfather of soul.”

“I was in prison for awhile, and people wore t-shirts that said, free me.”

OK, now can you not guess who that is? No one at the lake house knew who I was talking about. I would think the first clue would be a dead giveaway.

“So don’t delay, act now, supplies are running out. Allow if you’re still alive, six to eight years to arrive. And if you follow there may be a tomorrow. But if the offer is shunned, you might as well be walkin’ on the sun…”

86 Years, Down The Drain

Seinfeld Trivia
When George is lying to the Rosses about having a house in the Hamptons, what are the names of the two horses he makes up?

Monday’s answer was “Alive.”

Signs You’re At A Lame Halloween Party
(From Letterman the other night…)
– All the decorations say Happy Hannukah.
– Well, for starters, it’s April.
– “Bobbing for apples” inadvertently becomes “bobbing for the fat kid’s retainer.”
– When a guy dressed as the grim reaper leaves, you notice your grandparents are missing.
– Your wife’s been upstairs with the guy in the Bill O’Reilly costume for two hours.

You call THAT a World Series?
Well, the anti-climatic Series is over. All that history of failures. All the memories. The heartbreaks. The close calls. Down the drain. And now somewhere several million Cubs fans are muttering, “Told you our curse was worse.” I don’t know what happened to the Cardinals. They folded like a frightened Texas hold-em player with a 3 and an 8. Like 25 pieces of origami. I mean, the Red Sox played great, obviously, but come on. The Yankees/Sox series was like the US/Soviet 1980 Olympic hockey game, and this World Series was like the gold medal game that year that no one remembers, when the US beat Finland.

My friend, Jeno
“Is that delivery?” “No, it’s Jeno.” You’ll never have to worry about such silly questions when you purchase a quality Jeno’s pizza. And at 99 cents, it’s quite a bargain. Anyways, that’s what I had for supper last night. I know, you’re hungry now, right?

Lunaration
I hope everyone got to see the lunar eclipse last evening. Hmm, a lunar eclipse, the Red Sox win the World Series… what’s going on here? Next thing you know, I’ll be getting married.

Sein Language
This was an interesting topic that came up on Seinology the other day. What words or phrases from Seinfeld do you use in everyday life? I’m sure most of us have used the cliched “not that there’s anything wrong with that” or “no soup for you” occasionally. A couple I can think of that my friends and I use are:
“Oh nooooo. I’m sorry. The correct answer is Moops.”
“You’ve screwed me again, Pennypacker.”
“How long have I been asleep? What year is this?”
“Serenity now!!”

Laa da da daaa
As many of you know, the tune to “Carol of the Bells” has been permanently stuck in my head for the past year or more. I don’t know why, but year round, I can be heard randomly humming this tune. As disturbing as that is, that’s another bloglet… or a topic for another therapy session. Anyway, here’s a quote from the other night:
“It’s almost that time of the year, when I can sing Carol of the Bells, and no one will look at me funny.”
“Well, they’ll still look at you funny, but at least it’ll be the right season.”

“And though the boy knew the truth, sometimes he’d still believe that lie…”

86 Years, Down The Drain

Seinfeld Trivia

When George is lying to the Rosses about having a house in the Hamptons, what are the names of the two horses he makes up?

Monday’s answer was “Alive.”

Signs You’re At A Lame Halloween Party

(From Letterman the other night…)

– All the decorations say Happy Hannukah.

– Well, for starters, it’s April.

– “Bobbing for apples” inadvertently becomes “bobbing for the fat kid’s retainer.”

– When a guy dressed as the grim reaper leaves, you notice your grandparents are missing.

– Your wife’s been upstairs with the guy in the Bill O’Reilly costume for two hours.

You call THAT a World Series?

Well, the anti-climatic Series is over. All that history of failures. All the memories. The heartbreaks. The close calls. Down the drain. And now somewhere several million Cubs fans are muttering, “Told you our curse was worse.” I don’t know what happened to the Cardinals. They folded like a frightened Texas hold-em player with a 3 and an 8. Like 25 pieces of origami. I mean, the Red Sox played great, obviously, but come on. The Yankees/Sox series was like the US/Soviet 1980 Olympic hockey game, and this World Series was like the gold medal game that year that no one remembers, when the US beat Finland.

My friend, Jeno

“Is that delivery?” “No, it’s Jeno.” You’ll never have to worry about such silly questions when you purchase a quality Jeno’s pizza. And at 99 cents, it’s quite a bargain. Anyways, that’s what I had for supper last night. I know, you’re hungry now, right?

Lunaration

I hope everyone got to see the lunar eclipse last evening. Hmm, a lunar eclipse, the Red Sox win the World Series… what’s going on here? Next thing you know, I’ll be getting married.

Sein Language

This was an interesting topic that came up on Seinology the other day. What words or phrases from Seinfeld do you use in everyday life? I’m sure most of us have used the cliched “not that there’s anything wrong with that” or “no soup for you” occasionally. A couple I can think of that my friends and I use are:

“Oh nooooo. I’m sorry. The correct answer is Moops.”

“You’ve screwed me again, Pennypacker.”

“How long have I been asleep? What year is this?”

“Serenity now!!”

Laa da da daaa

As many of you know, the tune to “Carol of the Bells” has been permanently stuck in my head for the past year or more. I don’t know why, but year round, I can be heard randomly humming this tune. As disturbing as that is, that’s another bloglet… or a topic for another therapy session. Anyway, here’s a quote from the other night:

“It’s almost that time of the year, when I can sing Carol of the Bells, and no one will look at me funny.”

“Well, they’ll still look at you funny, but at least it’ll be the right season.”

“And though the boy knew the truth, sometimes he’d still believe that lie…”

Delta+Blog=Omega

I have been waiting to post this story all day:
Delta Grounds Blogging Flight Attendant

Well, I’m not opposed to supporting a damsel in distress. (And it has nothing to do with the fact that she has nice legs.) The poor hottie. When will this insanity end? By the way, be sure to check out her blog.

“I had too much caffeine and I was thinkin’ about myself. Then there she was, in platform double suede. Yeah, there she was, like disco lemonade…”

Delta+Blog=Omega

I have been waiting to post this story all day:

Delta Grounds Blogging Flight Attendant

Well, I’m not opposed to supporting a damsel in distress. (And it has nothing to do with the fact that she has nice legs.) The poor hottie. When will this insanity end? By the way, be sure to check out her blog.

“I had too much caffeine and I was thinkin’ about myself. Then there she was, in platform double suede. Yeah, there she was, like disco lemonade…”