Today’s haul and a lesson from Dad

Single guy goes to Wal-Mart… The Five For Fighting CD was on sale for like $9.96. Also got a box of trash bags and a half dozen donuts. That was it. Am I single or what? Wal-Mart really is America, ya know. There’s not many things more American than Wal-Mart.

Went to get my haircut. Tried this new place which is like two minutes from where I work. It was called Beauty Company, so it wasn’t the most masculine I’ve ever felt, but the girl was cute and did a nice job. My hair’s kinda hard to mess up though. I think I may start going there all the time. Also went to get fitted for my tux, thus spending more money I don’t have.

Today I will close with a lesson from my youth. This is a story my Dad told me…

There was a boy who went off to college. His dad gave him a set amount of money and told him not to waste it, because that was all he would get for the semester. Well, after just a few weeks, the son had squandered all the money, mostly on things he didn’t need, so he wrote a letter home which said, “No mon. No fun. Your son.”

A few days later the son received an envelope from home. Thinking it must be some more money, he hurriedly opened it. Inside he found a letter from his father which said, “Too bad. Too sad. Your dad.”

The end

I’m not sure what the lesson in that story was. But it was always a favorite of mine, along with the one about the little boy who cried wolf and the wolf ate him. Such loving, reassuring tales. Is it any wonder I turned out the way I did? Now, I can’t wait to procreate myself and pass these valuable lessons along.

“I’ve got the brains. You’ve got the looks. Let’s make lots of money…”

Today’s haul and a lesson from Dad

Single guy goes to Wal-Mart… The Five For Fighting CD was on sale for like $9.96. Also got a box of trash bags and a half dozen donuts. That was it. Am I single or what? Wal-Mart really is America, ya know. There’s not many things more American than Wal-Mart.

Went to get my haircut. Tried this new place which is like two minutes from where I work. It was called Beauty Company, so it wasn’t the most masculine I’ve ever felt, but the girl was cute and did a nice job. My hair’s kinda hard to mess up though. I think I may start going there all the time. Also went to get fitted for my tux, thus spending more money I don’t have.

Today I will close with a lesson from my youth. This is a story my Dad told me…

There was a boy who went off to college. His dad gave him a set amount of money and told him not to waste it, because that was all he would get for the semester. Well, after just a few weeks, the son had squandered all the money, mostly on things he didn’t need, so he wrote a letter home which said, “No mon. No fun. Your son.”

A few days later the son received an envelope from home. Thinking it must be some more money, he hurriedly opened it. Inside he found a letter from his father which said, “Too bad. Too sad. Your dad.”

The end

I’m not sure what the lesson in that story was. But it was always a favorite of mine, along with the one about the little boy who cried wolf and the wolf ate him. Such loving, reassuring tales. Is it any wonder I turned out the way I did? Now, I can’t wait to procreate myself and pass these valuable lessons along.

“I’ve got the brains. You’ve got the looks. Let’s make lots of money…”

In De Yungle, De Wild Yungle, De Lion Sleeps Tonight

Sometimes I just want to go Crazy Joe and Soup Nazi on this phone all at once. I want to take a hatchet and smash it to tiny pieces, then mail the pieces to the descendants of Alexander Graham Bell with a note that says “Here’s what I think of your little invention!!!” Serenity now!!!

(sigh) Much better. So, how was your weekend? Not bad here. Starred in my own personal version of Meet The Parents Saturday night at the Guadalajara Grill. Nothing like a mariachi band singing Sweet Home Alabama. Or The Lion Sleeps Tonight. “In de yungle, de wild yungle..” Oh man, that was funny.

Got a nice treat yesterday as the local Fox affiliate aired a couple of Michelle Pfeiffer movies. That’s like Christmas in May for me. Glad to see the Pistons and Kings win yesterday. There for awhile, all my teams were going down faster than the SS Minnow.

Went to Applebees after church last night. Sat with Beth. She was all like “I haven’t seen you in forever.” I heard that a lot this weekend, since I had taken a two week hiatus from the place. Kyle and Kristina had their camera phones out in full effect. Sheesh, I’ll kinda be glad when those things get banned, or at least the novelty wears off. Everywhere you turn there’s a phone in your face. Kyle is all like trying to show me baby pictures he has taken with his camera. I’m like dude, you need a girlfriend or something.

Oh, we were watching SNL the other night, and Jimmy Fallon said it was his final night. (No, not his final night on the face of the Earth, his final night on the show.) That’s the first I heard about that. I guess he’s off to the land of short-lived sitcoms and less than successful movies.

Saw a little boy waiting on the school bus this morning on my way to work. His little brown puppy had followed him to the road and was jumping on him. It was sooo cute. It made me remember a time when I was young, and I couldn’t have a dog because my parents didn’t want to fool with one. So I never got to experience the joy and warmth that comes from having a pet. Therefore I grew up cold and distant and dysfunctional, a bit capricious, with a fear of commitment and fear of letting go. And it’s all because I never had a dog when I was little. I’m sorry. Was that out loud?

Today, let’s close with a random completely normal haiku:

Life is simply this
Michelle Pfeiffer, I love you
You’re so hot to me

(I know you’re counting syllables with your fingers. I was, too.)

“And if you said this life ain’t good enough, I would give my world to lift you up. I could change my life to better suit your mood, because you’re so smooth…”

Word Assocation (attempt #2)

I’m not sure how fun this is anymore…

Playoffs:: NBA
Morris:: Brown
Break up:: Break down
Eggs:: Bacon
Parker:: Brothers
Hardy Boys:: mystery
Deluxe:: edition
Protection:: survival
Girl Scout:: cookies
Salsa:: seltzer

(from unconscious mutterings) Man, I used to love the Hardy Boys. Joe, Frank, Chet, Iola, Biff, Professor, Mary Ann, Ginger… oh wait.

“I got so caught up I forgot she told me. Her and my girl, be the best of homies. Next thing I knew she was all up on me screaming, yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeaah…”

In De Yungle, De Wild Yungle, De Lion Sleeps Tonight

Sometimes I just want to go Crazy Joe and Soup Nazi on this phone all at once. I want to take a hatchet and smash it to tiny pieces, then mail the pieces to the descendants of Alexander Graham Bell with a note that says “Here’s what I think of your little invention!!!” Serenity now!!!

(sigh) Much better. So, how was your weekend? Not bad here. Starred in my own personal version of Meet The Parents Saturday night at the Guadalajara Grill. Nothing like a mariachi band singing Sweet Home Alabama. Or The Lion Sleeps Tonight. “In de yungle, de wild yungle..” Oh man, that was funny.

Got a nice treat yesterday as the local Fox affiliate aired a couple of Michelle Pfeiffer movies. That’s like Christmas in May for me. Glad to see the Pistons and Kings win yesterday. There for awhile, all my teams were going down faster than the SS Minnow.

Went to Applebees after church last night. Sat with Beth. She was all like “I haven’t seen you in forever.” I heard that a lot this weekend, since I had taken a two week hiatus from the place. Kyle and Kristina had their camera phones out in full effect. Sheesh, I’ll kinda be glad when those things get banned, or at least the novelty wears off. Everywhere you turn there’s a phone in your face. Kyle is all like trying to show me baby pictures he has taken with his camera. I’m like dude, you need a girlfriend or something.

Oh, we were watching SNL the other night, and Jimmy Fallon said it was his final night. (No, not his final night on the face of the Earth, his final night on the show.) That’s the first I heard about that. I guess he’s off to the land of short-lived sitcoms and less than successful movies.

Saw a little boy waiting on the school bus this morning on my way to work. His little brown puppy had followed him to the road and was jumping on him. It was sooo cute. It made me remember a time when I was young, and I couldn’t have a dog because my parents didn’t want to fool with one. So I never got to experience the joy and warmth that comes from having a pet. Therefore I grew up cold and distant and dysfunctional, a bit capricious, with a fear of commitment and fear of letting go. And it’s all because I never had a dog when I was little. I’m sorry. Was that out loud?

Today, let’s close with a random completely normal haiku:

Life is simply this

Michelle Pfeiffer, I love you

You’re so hot to me

(I know you’re counting syllables with your fingers. I was, too.)

“And if you said this life ain’t good enough, I would give my world to lift you up. I could change my life to better suit your mood, because you’re so smooth…”

Word Assocation (attempt #2)

I’m not sure how fun this is anymore…

Playoffs:: NBA

Morris:: Brown

Break up:: Break down

Eggs:: Bacon

Parker:: Brothers

Hardy Boys:: mystery

Deluxe:: edition

Protection:: survival

Girl Scout:: cookies

Salsa:: seltzer

(from unconscious mutterings) Man, I used to love the Hardy Boys. Joe, Frank, Chet, Iola, Biff, Professor, Mary Ann, Ginger… oh wait.

“I got so caught up I forgot she told me. Her and my girl, be the best of homies. Next thing I knew she was all up on me screaming, yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeaah…”