Big news! (amended)

I hope you’re sitting down for this one! Click here!

Congratulations, guys! Two of my very good friends.

Add: I had to add this in. Kyle calls this morning and this conversation ensues:
K: “Dude, where did you get that story on your blog?”
J: “Shane emailed it out this morning.”
K: “Oh. Well, that’s bizarre.”
J: “Yeah.”

(a few minutes later, another call)
K: “I just talked to Shane. Melody’s pregnant.”
J: “Uh yeah, I know. We talked about that already.”
K: “Oh, I had no idea that’s what that story meant.”
J: “Well, what did you think it meant?”
K: “I don’t know. I thought they were opening some sort of meat and milk factory. I didn’t understand it.” WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

“All I can say is that my life is pretty plain. I like watching the puddles gather rain. And I don’t understand why I sleep all day, and I start to complain that there’s no rain…”

I can’t blog on command…

I’m not a robot, people. What? I know, you’ve checked all day for an update, but there was none. Sorry. Today was biz-E! Felt like I had a sign on my back that read, “I’m not doing anything. Give me something to do.” I think tomorrow I may look flustered or perturbed all day so people will think I’m busy and leave me alone. lol

Had to pick Dad up from work. He is working a few hours now, but can’t drive. Went to Decatur. Stopped by Jessica’s. Then met Kyle at Applebee’s. Stopped by Wal-Mart on the way home to stock up on Sun Drops. Picked up a few other things, including some yellow peeps. Mmmmm. Marshmallow and sugar. That’s pure goodness right thur. Did laundry betwixt and between all that.

One good thing did happen tonight. None of the regulars were working at Applebees, so we sat with Charity. I chanced it and ordered lemonade. Risky, yes. But the check came, and bingo! No bev charge. That’s good, too, because she was like down to her third strike. lol Someone must have informed her of the proper procedure. So she is officially added to the rotation. To show my thanks, I tipped $3 on a $5.44 check.

I’ve been hearing some pretty disturbing stuff lately, leading to this exchange:
K: “Man, we’re all going to jail. Well, he is anyway.”
J: “Yeah. You and I will probably just pay a small fine.” ROFL

“I’m on a ride and I want to get off, but they won’t slow down the roundabout. I sold the Renoir and the TV set. Don’t wanna be around when this gets out. So why don’t you use it. Try not to bruise it. Buy time, don’t lose it…”

Recycled forwarded email #18

Subject: The secret to making a marriage last:

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have some good food, pleasant conversation, and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds… in separate cities.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time,” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. One day she said, “There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.

Remember, marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?”. I said, “Dust.”

Why do most men die before their wives? Cos they want to.

“Doctor says you’re cured but you still feel the pain. Aspirations in the clouds, but your hopes go down the drain. And you want her, and she wants you. We want everyone. And you want her, and she wants you. No one, no one, no one ever… is to blame…”

Recycled forwarded email #18

Subject: The secret to making a marriage last:

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have some good food, pleasant conversation, and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds… in separate cities.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time,” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. One day she said, “There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.

Remember, marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?”. I said, “Dust.”

Why do most men die before their wives? Cos they want to.

“Doctor says you’re cured but you still feel the pain. Aspirations in the clouds, but your hopes go down the drain. And you want her, and she wants you. We want everyone. And you want her, and she wants you. No one, no one, no one ever… is to blame…”